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How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to win friends and influence people book

How to Win Friends and Influence People

This text provides excerpts from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie’s book is a classic guide to improving human relationships, focusing on strategies for making friends, influencing others, and changing people’s behavior without causing offense. The excerpts cover a variety of topics, including principles for showing sincere appreciation, becoming genuinely interested in others, being a good listener, making people feel important, letting the other person do a great deal of the talking, appealing to the nobler motives, and giving criticism tactfully.

Title: How to Win Friends and Influence People
Author: Dale Carnegie
Publication Date: November 1936
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: A Detailed Table of Contents

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Chapter 1: If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive. This chapter uses the example of notorious criminals to illustrate how criticism is often useless as people rarely blame themselves for their actions.
  • Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People. This chapter posits that the only way to influence others is to make them want to do what you propose, appealing to their core desire to feel important. It uses examples like John D. Rockefeller and Al Capone to show how the desire for importance manifests in different ways.
  • Chapter 3: He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. Building upon the previous chapter, Carnegie stresses the importance of uncovering another person’s wants and desires in order to motivate them, using historical anecdotes and personal stories to illustrate this principle.

Part Two: Ways to Make People Like You

  • Chapter 1: Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere. This chapter highlights the importance of genuine interest in others as the foundation of strong relationships, contrasting this approach with self-centered attempts to attract attention.
  • Chapter 2: A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression. Carnegie champions the power of a sincere smile in creating positive connections, drawing on real-life experiences to demonstrate its impact on personal and professional interactions.
  • Chapter 3: If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble. This chapter focuses on remembering and using people’s names, emphasizing its significance in showing respect and leaving a lasting positive impression.
  • Chapter 4: An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist. This chapter argues that being a good listener is paramount to being a good conversationalist, emphasizing the impact of attentive listening on building rapport and making others feel valued.
  • Chapter 5: How to Interest People. Carnegie advises readers to engage others by speaking about their interests, using personal examples to demonstrate how focusing on shared passions can create lasting bonds.
  • Chapter 6: How to Make People Like You Instantly. This chapter encourages readers to give sincere and honest appreciation to others, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and acknowledging their efforts and achievements.

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Chapter 1: You Can’t Win an Argument. Carnegie asserts that avoiding arguments is essential, as they rarely result in changed minds and often lead to resentment, using personal anecdotes to illustrate this principle.
  • Chapter 2: A Sure Way of Making Enemies—and How to Avoid It. This chapter advises readers to show respect for other people’s opinions and avoid directly telling them they are wrong, highlighting the natural human tendency to cling to established beliefs.
  • Chapter 3: If You’re Wrong, Admit It. Carnegie advocates for taking ownership of one’s mistakes quickly and emphatically, demonstrating how this approach can disarm criticism and foster a more forgiving atmosphere.
  • Chapter 4: A Drop of Honey. This chapter encourages readers to begin conversations in a friendly manner, using warmth and positivity to set a foundation for productive dialogue.
  • Chapter 5: The Secret of Socrates. Carnegie encourages readers to use the Socratic method of asking questions to lead others to their own conclusions, emphasizing the power of guiding thought processes without imposing opinions.
  • Chapter 6: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints. This chapter stresses the importance of active listening when dealing with complaints, allowing the aggrieved party to express their frustrations fully before offering solutions.
  • Chapter 7: How to Get Cooperation. Carnegie emphasizes the value of collaboration, suggesting that allowing others to feel ownership over ideas can foster enthusiastic participation.
  • Chapter 8: A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You. This chapter builds upon the previous chapter by urging readers to consider the other person’s point of view and understand their motivations before proposing solutions.
  • Chapter 9: What Everybody Wants. Carnegie focuses on the importance of showing empathy and understanding for the desires and motivations of others, recognizing that this approach can bridge differences and build stronger relationships.
  • Chapter 10: An Appeal That Everybody Likes. This chapter advises readers to appeal to nobler motives when trying to persuade others, arguing that acknowledging people’s desire to be seen as fair and unselfish can be an effective tool for influence.
  • Chapter 11: The Movies Do It. TV Does It….Why Don’t You Do It? This chapter encourages readers to use dramatization to make their ideas more engaging and impactful, drawing inspiration from techniques used in visual media.
  • Chapter 12: When Nothing Else Works, Try This. Carnegie advocates for issuing a challenge as a last resort for motivation, arguing that appealing to an individual’s competitive spirit can be an effective way to spur them to action.

Part Four: How to Change People Without Giving Offense

  • Chapter 1: If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin. Carnegie emphasizes the importance of beginning criticism with praise and sincere appreciation, using historical figures like Abraham Lincoln to illustrate the effectiveness of this approach.
  • Chapter 2: How to Criticize….And Not Be Hated for It. This chapter suggests focusing on criticizing actions rather than the person, offering specific and constructive feedback instead of making general accusations.
  • Chapter 3: Talk About Your Own Mistakes First. Carnegie encourages readers to acknowledge their own errors before criticizing others, arguing that this approach can create a more receptive atmosphere for feedback.
  • Chapter 4: No One Likes to Take Orders. This chapter advises against giving direct orders, suggesting that phrasing requests as suggestions can elicit more positive responses.
  • Chapter 5: Let the Other Person Save Face. This chapter emphasizes the importance of preserving another person’s dignity, highlighting how finding ways to avoid public humiliation can maintain relationships.
  • Chapter 6: How to Spur People on to Success. This chapter advocates for using praise and encouragement as motivational tools, highlighting the powerful impact positive reinforcement can have on an individual’s performance and self-perception.
  • Chapter 7: Give a Dog a Good Name. Building upon the previous chapter, Carnegie encourages readers to establish high expectations for others and express confidence in their ability to meet them, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for success.
  • Chapter 8: Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct. Carnegie suggests framing criticism in a way that makes improvement seem attainable, avoiding language that could make someone feel overwhelmed or incapable.
  • Chapter 9: Making People Glad to Do What You Want. This chapter emphasizes framing requests in a way that appeals to the other person’s interests and desires, making them feel happy and enthusiastic about fulfilling them.

This table of contents summarizes the key themes and takeaways from each chapter of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the book’s content, enabling readers to navigate its principles and apply its advice to their own lives.

How to Win Friends and Influence People: A Briefing Doc

This document summarizes the key themes and insights from excerpts of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie’s work, an enduring guide to interpersonal effectiveness, emphasizes understanding human nature to achieve personal and professional success.

Main Themes:

  1. The Importance of Relationships: Carnegie posits that success hinges on building strong relationships. He argues that financial achievement relies 85% on “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people” and only 15% on technical knowledge.
  2. Understanding Human Nature: Carnegie stresses the need to see situations from others’ perspectives. This understanding, coupled with the ability to ignite desire in others, forms the crux of his approach.
  3. Practical Techniques: The book provides actionable strategies, illustrated through anecdotes, to foster genuine connections, influence opinions, and inspire positive change without inciting resentment.

Key Ideas and Facts:

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain (Principle 1): Carnegie argues that criticism is futile, as it prompts defensiveness. Drawing on examples like Al Capone and “Two Gun” Crowley, he illustrates how even hardened criminals rationalize their actions. Instead, he advocates for understanding the reasons behind individuals’ behavior, fostering empathy and tolerance.
  • Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation (Principle 2): Carnegie highlights the human need for appreciation. He argues that acknowledging even small efforts can yield powerful results, citing examples like Schwab praising his nephew for buying a bed and Ziegfeld’s appreciation for his performers.
  • Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want (Principle 3): Carnegie stresses the importance of aligning your goals with the desires of others. He emphasizes the human “desire to be important,” as illustrated by individuals like Rockefeller and Dillinger, and encourages readers to tap into this desire to motivate action.

Part Two: Ways to Make People Like You

  • Become Genuinely Interested in Other People (Principle 1): Carnegie suggests that showing genuine interest is paramount to building friendships. He advises against trying to impress others, instead advocating for actively listening and engaging with their interests, as demonstrated by his encounters with a botanist and various celebrities.
  • Smile (Principle 2): Carnegie emphasizes the power of a smile, a simple act that conveys warmth and positivity. He encourages readers to smile proactively, emphasizing its ability to brighten others’ days and improve personal interactions.
  • Remember Names (Principle 3): Carnegie asserts that a person’s name holds immense value. Remembering and using someone’s name demonstrates respect and makes them feel valued.
  • Be a Good Listener (Principle 4): Carnegie emphasizes the importance of attentive listening, allowing others to express themselves fully. He provides examples, like the New York Telephone Company employee who pacified an irate customer by patiently listening to his complaints.
  • Talk in Terms of the Other Person’s Interests (Principle 5): Carnegie advocates for tailoring conversations to the interests of others. This approach, illustrated by Mr. Chalif securing funding for the Boy Scouts, ensures engagement and facilitates connection.
  • Make the Other Person Feel Important (Principle 6): Carnegie believes in sincerely making others feel valued. He shares various anecdotes, such as the story of Donald McMahon receiving a valuable puppy from a judge after complimenting his dogs, to highlight the effectiveness of genuine appreciation.

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Avoid Arguments (Principle 1): Carnegie argues that arguments are unproductive and offer no real winners. He advises readers to avoid engaging in disputes, citing his own experience of correcting a misquotation and its negative consequences.
  • Respect Opinions, Never Say “You’re Wrong” (Principle 2): Carnegie advises against directly contradicting others, advocating for respect towards differing viewpoints. He highlights the importance of acknowledging the emotional investment individuals have in their beliefs and the futility of direct confrontation.
  • Admit Wrongs Quickly and Emphatically (Principle 3): Carnegie encourages taking ownership of mistakes, as it disarms criticism and fosters understanding. He shares an anecdote about encountering a policeman while breaking a park rule, demonstrating how self-criticism can elicit leniency.
  • Begin in a Friendly Way (Principle 4): Carnegie stresses the importance of initiating interactions with warmth and positivity. He suggests that a friendly approach paves the way for a more receptive audience and productive conversation.
  • Get Others Saying “Yes, Yes” (Principle 5): Carnegie advocates for framing conversations to elicit agreement, gradually guiding others towards your viewpoint. He cites the “Socratic method,” using questions to gain affirmation, as an effective technique.
  • Encourage Talking (Principle 6): Carnegie suggests allowing others to express themselves freely, making them feel heard and valued. He highlights the importance of attentive listening and encouraging others to share their thoughts and experiences.
  • Let the Other Person Feel the Idea is His/Hers (Principle 7): Carnegie recommends guiding others to feel ownership of ideas, fostering acceptance and enthusiasm. He illustrates this with the example of an artist who increased sales by incorporating a buyer’s suggestions into his designs.
  • See Things from the Other Person’s Point of View (Principle 8): Carnegie reiterates the importance of empathy and understanding others’ perspectives. He shares an anecdote about changing his approach towards boys starting fires in a park, emphasizing how considering their point of view led to better outcomes.
  • Be Sympathetic (Principle 9): Carnegie encourages understanding and acknowledging the desires and emotions of others. He emphasizes the importance of empathy in building relationships and navigating disagreements.
  • Appeal to Nobler Motives (Principle 10): Carnegie believes in highlighting the positive aspects of requests, appealing to individuals’ desire to be seen as fair and unselfish.
  • Dramatize Your Ideas (Principle 11): Carnegie suggests making ideas memorable and impactful by incorporating vivid storytelling and engaging presentations.
  • Throw Down a Challenge (Principle 12): Carnegie recommends leveraging individuals’ desire to prove their worth by presenting challenges that inspire them to rise to the occasion.

Quotes:

  • “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”
  • “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
  • “First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
  • “The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.”
  • “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”
  • “If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you.”
  • “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.”
  • “He who treads softly goes far.”

Conclusion:

Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People offers timeless advice for navigating interpersonal relationships. By prioritizing empathy, understanding, and genuine appreciation, individuals can build stronger connections, communicate more effectively, and achieve greater success in all aspects of life.

How to Win Friends and Influence People FAQ

Based on the excerpts from Dale Carnegie’s Book

1. What is the main idea of Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”?

This book focuses on improving relationships to achieve personal and professional success. Carnegie argues that financial success depends 15% on professional knowledge and 85% on interpersonal skills. He provides techniques to make people like you, win them over, and inspire them without causing resentment.

2. Can you give an example of how criminals often think, according to Dale Carnegie?

Carnegie highlights that criminals rarely blame themselves. He cites examples like “Two Gun” Crowley blaming his imprisonment on self-defense and Al Capone considering himself a misunderstood public benefactor. Even in prison, inmates rationalize their actions, showing how people often shift blame rather than accept responsibility.

3. What is the “big secret” of dealing with people?

The “big secret” is making others want to do what you desire. Instead of using force or threats, identify what motivates them and align your request with their desires. This fosters genuine cooperation and avoids negative repercussions.

4. How can someone become a good conversationalist according to Dale Carnegie?

The key is to be genuinely interested in others and listen attentively. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their interests, offering sincere praise and appreciation. By focusing on them, you’ll be perceived as an engaging conversationalist even if you speak little yourself.

5. Why is smiling so important in winning friends and influencing people?

A smile is a nonverbal message of goodwill and positivity. It brightens the day of those who see it, suggesting you’re approachable and pleasant to be around. This simple act can make others more receptive to your ideas and more likely to engage with you.

6. How can you make people like you instantly?

Find something you genuinely admire about them and express it sincerely. This could be their appearance, a skill, or a recent accomplishment. People crave appreciation, and acknowledging their positive attributes will leave them with a lasting positive impression of you.

7. Why is it crucial to admit when you are wrong?

Admitting fault disarms potential arguments and encourages the other person to be more open-minded. It showcases your humility and willingness to be fair, making them more receptive to finding common ground.

8. How can you effectively motivate someone to do something they don’t want to do?

Frame the task in a way that aligns with their interests and values. Make them feel important by seeking their input and letting them contribute ideas. When they feel ownership over the task and see its benefits, they’ll be more motivated to participate willingly.

How to Win Friends and Influence People: A Study Guide

Quiz

Answer the following questions in 2-3 sentences based on the provided excerpts from How to Win Friends and Influence People.

  1. According to Dale Carnegie, what is the primary driver of human behavior?
  2. What is the “big secret” of dealing with people?
  3. How does Carnegie suggest one should react when they realize they are wrong in an argument?
  4. What is the “Socratic method,” and how does it relate to winning people to your way of thinking?
  5. How does the story of W.P. Gaw and the bronze subcontractor exemplify the importance of understanding the other person’s perspective?
  6. What strategy does Carnegie suggest for effectively delivering criticism without inciting resentment?
  7. How does the story of Edward Bok, the office boy who corresponded with famous figures, illustrate the power of genuine interest?
  8. Why is it crucial to make people feel important when asking them to do something? Provide an example from the text.
  9. According to Carnegie, why is listening more valuable than speaking in conversations?
  10. How can dramatization make ideas more impactful?

Answer Key

  1. Dale Carnegie highlights the desire to feel important as the primary driver of human behavior, citing John Dewey’s belief in its significance.
  2. The “big secret” of dealing with people lies in making the other person want to do what you desire. Carnegie emphasizes that this necessitates understanding their wants and motivations.
  3. When proven wrong in an argument, Carnegie advises admitting it quickly and emphatically. This approach disarms the opponent, fosters open-mindedness, and minimizes potential conflict.
  4. The “Socratic method” involves leading the other person to a conclusion by asking questions that elicit a series of “yes” responses. This approach subtly guides their thinking without directly contradicting their initial beliefs.
  5. W.P. Gaw, initially focused on his company’s losses, shifted his approach by inquiring about the subcontractor’s challenges. This empathetic tactic fostered cooperation, leading to a resolution and future business.
  6. Carnegie advises beginning criticism by acknowledging one’s own mistakes before addressing the other person’s shortcomings. This softens the blow and makes the criticism seem less accusatory.
  7. Edward Bok’s genuine interest in the lives of prominent individuals led him to write letters seeking further information. This simple act, fueled by genuine curiosity, opened doors to personal connections and valuable experiences that shaped his life.
  8. Making others feel important validates their self-worth and fosters a sense of willingness. Colonel House exemplified this when informing Bryan of his role as peace emissary, suggesting Bryan was too important for the task, thus satisfying his ego.
  9. Listening intently serves as a compliment, making the speaker feel valued and encouraging them to open up further. Carnegie stresses that people are generally more interested in discussing themselves than listening to others.
  10. Dramatization enhances the impact of ideas by transforming them from mere statements into captivating experiences. Just as movies and television employ visual storytelling, using vivid examples and engaging narratives can captivate audiences and leave a lasting impression.

Essay Questions

  1. Analyze Carnegie’s assertion that financial success hinges more on interpersonal skills than professional knowledge. Do you agree or disagree? Defend your position using examples from the text and your own experiences.
  2. How does the principle of “arousing an eager want” apply to diverse contexts such as parenting, sales, or leadership?
  3. Carnegie advocates for replacing criticism with praise. Discuss the potential benefits and drawbacks of this approach.
  4. Explore the significance of remembering and using people’s names in building meaningful connections.
  5. Critically examine Carnegie’s emphasis on seeing things from the other person’s point of view. Is this always feasible or desirable? When might it be challenging or even counterproductive to prioritize another person’s perspective?

scenarios will enrich your understanding and retention of Carnegie’s principles.

Glossary of Key Terms

  • Self-esteem: A sense of one’s own worth or value.
  • Socratic Method: A method of questioning that leads the other person to discover a truth for themselves by answering a series of carefully crafted questions.
  • Dramatization: Presenting information or ideas in a vivid, engaging, and often theatrical way to capture attention and leave a lasting impact.
  • Showmanship: The skill of presenting something in a dramatic and entertaining way, often used in sales and marketing to generate interest.
  • Ulterior Motives: Hidden or unstated reasons for doing something, often selfish or deceptive.
  • Rapt Attention: Giving complete and focused attention to someone or something, often indicating deep interest or engagement.
  • Cantankerous: Bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative.
  • Petulant: Childishly sulky or bad-tempered.
  • Subordinate: A person in a lower position or rank.
  • Magnanimous: Generous or forgiving, especially towards someone less powerful.
  • Flout: Openly disregard (a rule, law, or convention).
  • Ultimatum: A final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations.
  • Emissary: A person sent as a diplomatic representative on a special mission.
  • Adroit: Clever or skillful in using the hands or mind.
  • Intimation: An indication or hint.
  • Snub: Rebuff, ignore, or spurn disdainfully.
  • Meteoric: (Of development or progress) very rapid.
  • Disgruntled: Angry or dissatisfied.
  • Precinct: A district of a city or town, especially one under the jurisdiction of a particular police station.
  • Conflagration: An extensive fire which destroys a great deal of land or property.
  • Sullenly: In a gloomy, sulky, and bad-tempered way.
  • Druids: The priests of the ancient Celts. They are thought to have been keepers of wisdom and skilled in magic.
  • Atrophy: (Of body tissue or an organ) waste away, typically from disuse.
  • Notorious: Famous or well-known, typically for some bad quality or deed.

This study guide is designed to assist in reviewing the key concepts and strategies presented in the provided excerpts from How to Win Friends and Influence People. Remember that active engagement with the material through note-taking, reflection, and application to real-life

Timeline of Events

This text is primarily focused on explaining and illustrating principles of human relations rather than recounting a specific series of historical events. Therefore, it’s not possible to create a detailed timeline.

However, we can highlight a few anecdotal events mentioned in the text:

  • 1915: Woodrow Wilson appoints Colonel Edward M. House as the peace emissary to Europe.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: “Two Gun” Crowley is sentenced to the electric chair.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Al Capone gives a newspaper interview about being a public benefactor.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: John Wanamaker reflects on his thirty-year-old lesson about the futility of scolding.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Charles Schwab praises his nephew for buying a bed, preventing him from wetting the bed due to pride.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Telephone engineer K. T. Dutschmann gets his daughter to eat breakfast by letting her make the cereal.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Florenz Ziegfeld raises chorus girls’ salaries and shows them appreciation with opening night gifts.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale Carnegie attends a dinner party and speaks with a botanist, becoming known as a “good conversationalist.”
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale Carnegie uses sincere interest to invite prominent figures to speak to his public speaking students.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A New York department store publishes an ad about “The Value of a Smile at Christmas.”
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Sales representative Edward M. Sykes Jr. retains a customer by being friendly to all employees.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Fuel salesman Mr. Knaphle wins over a chain store executive by asking for his help in a debate.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: The New York Telephone Company successfully handles a difficult customer by listening to his complaints.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Julian F. Detmer, founder of the Detmer Woolen Company, calms an angry customer by listening and understanding his perspective.
  • Unspecified years before 1937: Young Edward Bok writes to famous figures, eventually meeting many and gaining valuable confidence.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Abraham Lincoln summons an old friend to discuss the issue of freeing the slaves, utilizing him as a listener.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Mr. Chalif secures a meeting with a busy executive by first discussing the man’s million-dollar check.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Baker Henry G. Duvernoy finally makes a sale after years of trying by discovering and speaking about the hotel manager’s interests.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale Carnegie compliments a bored post office clerk’s hair, making his day.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Donald M. McMahon, a landscape architect, receives a valuable puppy and more business after praising a client’s dogs.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale Carnegie gets his rent reduced by being appreciative and understanding towards his landlord instead of complaining.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dean Woodcock observes a public relations situation with a photographer while his team works on electrical equipment.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: James Eberson, a bank teller, secures a new customer by focusing on what the customer wanted and getting him to say “yes, yes.”
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A sales manager avoids arguing with a client about motor temperature by asking leading questions to get “yes, yes” responses.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Eddie Snow buys a bow-hunting set after the store owner leads him to a sale with “yes, yes” questions.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale Carnegie learns to approach boys starting fires in the park by understanding their perspective and appealing to their desire for fun.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Elizabeth Novak avoids trouble over late car payments by understanding and listening to the account handler’s frustrations.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A husband learns to see his wife’s perspective on gardening, leading to a happier relationship.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: An art salesman finds success by asking a difficult buyer for his ideas and letting him feel like the creator.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Paul M. Davis gets his family to agree on a vacation to historical sites in the Eastern states by appealing to their interests.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: An X-ray manufacturer secures a large order by asking a hospital’s head of X-ray department for advice and feedback.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Hamilton J. Farrell convinces a disgruntled tenant to stay by appealing to his nobler motives and sense of honor.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: An automobile company successfully collects overdue bills by understanding the customers’ perspectives and letting them express themselves.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: The Philadelphia Evening Bulletin combats negative rumors by publishing “One Day,” a book showcasing the large amount of news they print.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A frustrated employee is inspired to become a successful writer (Charles Dickens) after receiving recognition for his work.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A disgruntled store clerk (H.G. Wells) is encouraged to become a writer after receiving praise and a teaching opportunity from his old schoolmaster.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: John Ringelspaugh uses praise to improve his son’s performance in school.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A plant manager (Arthur Vinton) reduces absenteeism by showing appreciation and giving employees a sense of importance.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Ruth Hopkins, a teacher, helps a troubled student (Tommy T.) improve by giving him responsibilities and building his self-esteem.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A supervisor motivates a worker by praising his good qualities and giving him a reputation to live up to.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A man successfully avoids speaking engagements by offering alternative speaker suggestions.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dale O. Ferrier motivates his son to do chores by turning it into a game with rewards and penalties.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Gunter Schmidt motivates a careless employee to improve by highlighting his potential.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A sales manager improves his team’s performance by setting goals and fostering a spirit of friendly competition.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Abraham Lincoln motivates General Hooker by acknowledging his ambition and challenging him to achieve military success.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: W. P. Gaw, from the Wark Company, motivates a subcontractor by understanding his problems and expressing confidence in his abilities.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: A typist improves her spelling after Dale Carnegie discusses his own struggles with spelling and its importance.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Prince Bernhard von Bülow avoids the German Kaiser’s wrath by praising his knowledge of natural science after initially criticizing him.
  • Unspecified year before 1937: Dr. Martin Fitzhugh motivates his charwoman to clean better by praising her work and offering extra pay for additional tasks.

Please note that these events are anecdotal and the text does not offer precise dates for them.

  • lease.
  • Lord Northcliffe: He successfully prevented a newspaper from publishing an unflattering picture by appealing to their respect for mothers.
  • John D. Rockefeller, Jr.: Similar to Northcliffe, he stopped photographers from snapping pictures of his children by appealing to a universal desire to protect children.
  • Cyrus H. K. Curtis: The owner of The Saturday Evening Post; he secured contributions from famous authors like Louisa May Alcott by appealing to their charitable instincts.
  • James L. Thomas: He shared a story about an automobile company that improved its bill collection by understanding customer perspectives and allowing them to express themselves.
  • Arthur Vinton: A plant manager who successfully reduced absenteeism and improved morale by showing appreciation for his employees and making them feel valued.
  • Ruth Hopkins: A teacher who helped a troubled student improve his behavior by assigning him responsibilities and praising his good qualities.
  • Dale O. Ferrier: He motivated his son to complete his chores by framing it as a game with rewards and penalties.
  • Gunter Schmidt: He motivated a careless employee to improve by highlighting his potential for growth and giving him more responsibilities.
  • Abraham Lincoln: His letter to General Hooker exemplifies how to motivate someone by acknowledging their ambition and challenging them to achieve success.
  • W. P. Gaw: He successfully handled a subcontractor delay by understanding the subcontractor’s problems, offering help, and expressing confidence in his abilities.
  • Dr. Martin Fitzhugh: A dentist who motivated his charwoman to clean better by praising her past work and offering extra pay for additional tasks.

Please note that this list only includes individuals explicitly named in the text. There are other unnamed figures mentioned in various anecdotes.

Key people mentioned in the book

This text focuses on illustrating principles with anecdotes rather than providing detailed biographies. Below is a list of individuals mentioned, with brief descriptions based on the text:

Historical Figures:

  • “Two Gun” Crowley: A notorious criminal who refused to blame himself for his actions, highlighting the human tendency to rationalize.
  • Al Capone: A notorious Chicago gangster who saw himself as a public benefactor, exemplifying self-justification, even for criminal acts.
  • Dutch Schultz: A New York gangster who also considered himself a public benefactor, further illustrating the point of self-justification.
  • Napoleon Bonaparte: Mentioned as an example of someone who struggled to make and maintain genuine friends.
  • George Washington: Used as an example of a famous person seeking validation and importance through titles.
  • Christopher Columbus: Another historical figure used to illustrate the desire for titles and recognition.
  • Catherine the Great: Emphasizes the human desire for importance through her demand for a specific title in addresses.
  • Mary Todd Lincoln: Her behavior towards Julia Grant in the White House showcases the human need for recognition and importance.
  • Admiral Richard Byrd: The financing of his Antarctic expedition is presented as an example of seeking importance through association and having geographical features named after oneself.
  • Victor Hugo: His aspiration to have Paris renamed after him demonstrates the human desire for lasting fame and recognition.
  • William Shakespeare: Even this literary giant sought a coat of arms for his family, demonstrating that the desire for importance can manifest in various ways.
  • John D. Rockefeller: Contrasted with Dillinger; he found importance in philanthropy, demonstrating that the same human drive can manifest in vastly different ways.
  • John Dillinger: A notorious criminal who gained a sense of importance from his infamy, contrasting with Rockefeller’s philanthropic motivations.
  • Wilhelm II (Kaiser Wilhelm): The last German Kaiser; his ego, arrogance, and inflammatory remarks are used as examples of poor human relations.
  • Prince Bernhard von Bülow: The Imperial Chancellor of Germany under Wilhelm II; his skillful handling of the Kaiser’s diplomatic blunder showcases praising after criticizing.
  • Woodrow Wilson: His diplomatic successes and failures illustrate the importance of making others feel good about decisions.
  • William Jennings Bryan: Wilson’s Secretary of State; his disappointment at not being appointed peace emissary is used to illustrate how to let someone down gently.
  • Colonel Edward M. House: Wilson’s close advisor; his ability to placate Bryan demonstrates tact and understanding in human relations.
  • William Gibbs McAdoo: Wilson’s Secretary of the Treasury; Wilson’s invitation to join the Cabinet showcases how to make someone feel valued.
  • Elihu Root, Charles Evans Hughes, Henry Cabot Lodge: Prominent Republicans who were not included in Wilson’s League of Nations efforts, demonstrating the negative consequences of ignoring key figures.
  • Socrates: The ancient Greek philosopher; his method of asking leading questions to gain agreement (“yes, yes” response) is highlighted.
  • Charles Dickens: A famous author who found the motivation to overcome hardship and achieve success through receiving praise and recognition for his writing.
  • H.G. Wells: Another famous author who was inspired to pursue writing after receiving encouragement and praise from his former schoolmaster.
  • B. F. Skinner: A contemporary psychologist who emphasized the importance of positive reinforcement and minimizing criticism.

Individuals from Anecdotes:

  • John Wanamaker: Founder of the Wanamaker department stores; his experience taught him the futility of scolding and the importance of understanding.
  • Charles Schwab: His story about his nephew and the bed illustrates how to encourage positive behavior through praise and pride.
  • K.T. Dutschmann: A telephone engineer who used the principle of letting his daughter “make the cereal” to encourage her to eat breakfast.
  • Florenz Ziegfeld: A Broadway producer known for his ability to inspire and empower women by making them feel important and appreciated.
  • Alfred Lunt: An actor who recognized the human need for “nourishment for self-esteem.”
  • Paul Harvey: A radio broadcaster who shared a story about the transformative power of sincere appreciation.
  • Stevie Morris: A boy with remarkable hearing who was highlighted in Paul Harvey’s broadcast as an example of finding and praising a person’s unique qualities.
  • Leslie M. Shaw, George W. Wickersham, Franklin D. Roosevelt: Prominent figures who responded to Dale Carnegie’s requests to speak, illustrating the effectiveness of showing genuine interest.
  • Edward M. Sykes, Jr.: A sales representative for Johnson & Johnson who retained a customer by being friendly and respectful to all employees.
  • Mr. Knaphle: A fuel salesman who learned to win business by being genuinely interested in others and their perspectives.
  • Mr. —–: A troublesome customer of the New York Telephone Company who was successfully appeased by a representative who listened attentively to his complaints.
  • Julian F. Detmer: Founder of the Detmer Woolen Company; his story illustrates how to turn an angry customer into a loyal one through understanding and empathy.
  • Edward Bok: His rise from poverty to becoming a successful magazine editor exemplifies the power of genuine interest, networking, and seeking advice from those you admire.
  • Isaac F. Marcosson: A journalist who stressed the importance of listening attentively, noting that it was a rare and valuable trait.
  • Mr. Chalif: His approach to securing a meeting with a busy executive by first discussing the man’s interests (a million-dollar check) demonstrates the importance of starting with the other person’s perspective.
  • Henry G. Duvernoy: A baker who finally made a sale after years of trying by discovering and appealing to the potential customer’s interests.
  • William B. Steinhardt: A stockbroker who transformed his life and business by incorporating smiling and a positive attitude into his interactions.
  • Donald M. McMahon: A landscape architect who received a valuable puppy and secured more business by expressing sincere appreciation for his client’s hobby (dog breeding).
  • George Eastman: The founder of Kodak; his story is used to illustrate how to make people feel important by seeking their input and advice.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson: His quote on recognizing “our own rejected thoughts” in the work of geniuses is used to highlight the effectiveness of letting others feel ownership of ideas.
  • Elizabeth Novak: A woman facing trouble with late car payments who successfully navigated the situation by understanding and empathizing with the account handler.
  • Dean Donham: From Harvard Business School; he emphasized the importance of thorough preparation and understanding the other person’s perspective before an interview.
  • James Eberson: A bank teller who secured a new customer by focusing on the customer’s needs and using the “yes, yes” technique.
  • Eddie Snow: He purchased a bow-hunting set after a store owner skillfully used the “yes, yes” technique to guide him toward a sale.
  • Hamilton J. Farrell: By appealing to a disgruntled tenant’s sense of honor and giving him time to reconsider, he convinced the tenant to fulfill the terms of his