Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss

“Never Split the Difference” is a book by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, which explores the power of using emotional intelligence in negotiations. Voss argues that traditional negotiation techniques, which rely on logic and reason, are often ineffective. Instead, he advocates for a more empathetic approach that focuses on understanding the other party’s perspective and emotions. The book is filled with real-life examples from Voss’s career, as well as insights from psychology and behavioral economics. It aims to equip readers with practical tools and strategies that can be used to improve their negotiating skills in all aspects of life, from business deals to personal relationships.

Title: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
Author: Chris Voss with Tahl Raz
Publication Date: May 17, 2016
Publisher: Harper Business

Key Concepts
Table of contents
A Detailed Briefing
FAQ
Stud Guide
Glossary Of Terms
Timeline Of Events
Key People Mentioned In The Book

Key Concepts and Techniques

The Importance of Tactical Empathy
- Tactical empathy involves understanding the feelings and mindset of another person while also articulating their perspective. It helps in building trust and rapport.
- Recognizing and addressing the emotions of the other party can lead to better outcomes in negotiations.
The “Mirroring” Technique
- Mirroring is a technique where you subtly imitate the speech patterns, behaviors, or phrases of your counterpart. This helps to establish rapport and make the other person feel understood.
- It involves repeating the last few words of what someone has just said in a curious, inquisitive tone, prompting them to elaborate further.
Labeling Emotions
- Labeling involves identifying and verbalizing the other person’s emotions. This technique helps to validate their feelings and defuse negative emotions.
- Use phrases like, “It seems like you’re feeling…”, “It sounds like…”, or “It looks like…” to acknowledge their emotional state.
Calibrated Questions
- These are open-ended questions designed to guide the conversation and encourage the other party to reveal more information. They typically start with “How” or “What.”
- Calibrated questions prevent “yes” or “no” answers and instead encourage thought and dialogue. For example, “How can we solve this problem together?” or “What’s the biggest challenge you see in this situation?”
The Power of “No”
- Contrary to traditional views, Voss emphasizes the importance of getting the other party to say “no,” as it makes them feel safe and in control. It can be a starting point for real dialogue and problem-solving.
- Encourage a “no” to understand the other person’s boundaries and concerns better. This can help in crafting a more acceptable proposal.
The Ackerman Model
- A systematic bargaining approach where the negotiator sets a target price and makes calculated offers that gradually approach this target. The model consists of:
  1. Establishing a target price.
  2. Offering 65% of the target price.
  3. Increasing to 85%, then 95%, and finally 100%, with decreasing increments.
  4. Using non-monetary items to add value at the end.
Accusation Audit
- This technique involves preemptively addressing any negative assumptions the other party might have. By acknowledging potential criticisms or concerns, you disarm the other party and reduce defensiveness.
- Example: “You probably think I’m here to lowball you, but…”
The Late-Night FM DJ Voice
- Voss suggests using a calm, slow, and reassuring tone, similar to that of a late-night radio DJ, to convey calmness and control, especially in tense situations.
- This tone helps to diffuse tension and encourages the other party to relax and open up.
The Principle of “Fairness”
- People have a strong psychological need to feel they are being treated fairly. Using the word “fair” can be a powerful tool in negotiations, either to affirm your offer or to gently call out an unfair proposition.
- Phrases like “I want to make sure this feels fair to you” can be used to foster collaboration and agreement.
Bending Reality: The Illusion of Control
- Create an illusion of control by letting the other party feel they are making decisions. Use calibrated questions and labels to guide them toward your desired outcome without directly imposing it.
- This technique leverages the human need for autonomy and choice.

Application and Implementation

Prepare Thoroughly: Before entering any negotiation, gather as much information as possible. Know your objectives, the other party’s likely objectives, and the broader context.
Practice Active Listening: Focus intently on what the other person is saying, not just their words but also the emotions and intentions behind them.
Build Trust and Rapport: Use tactical empathy, mirroring, and labeling to establish a positive connection with the other party.
Adapt and Improvise: Be ready to adjust your approach based on the flow of the conversation and the responses of the other party.

Conclusion

Never Split the Difference challenges conventional negotiation wisdom by emphasizing the psychological aspects of negotiation rather than purely logical approaches. By employing techniques like tactical empathy, calibrated questions, and the Ackerman model, negotiators can achieve better outcomes without compromising. The key is to understand and leverage human emotions and behavior to guide the negotiation process effectively.

Table of Contents for Excerpts from “Never Split the Difference”

Source: Excerpts from “Never Split the Difference.pdf”

Part I: The Power of “No” and Tactical Empathy

Chapter 1: The New Rules – Survival Is Not About Being the Toughest: Introduces the high-stakes world of hostage negotiation and the transferable lessons learned, emphasizing a shift from traditional problem-solving approaches to understanding human behavior.
Bank Robbery Case Study: Illustrates the author’s early experiences with negotiation in a high-pressure bank robbery situation.
Moving Beyond “Making Shit Up”: Critiques traditional police negotiation tactics and emphasizes the need for deeper understanding and connection.
Chapter 3: Tactical Empathy – Spotting the Signals: Explores the concept of tactical empathy and its role in effective negotiation, highlighting nonverbal communication and emotional cues.
Reading Body Language and Voice Tone: Details how to spot inconsistencies between words and body language to uncover hidden emotions.
Psychics as Negotiators: Compares skilled negotiators to psychics who excel in reading subtle cues to understand their clients’ needs.
Labeling Emotions: Introduces the powerful technique of labeling emotions to defuse tension, build rapport, and encourage dialogue.
Chapter 4: Beware “Yes”—Master “No”: Unveils the power of “No” as a tool for negotiation, arguing that it signifies engagement and opens up possibilities for genuine agreement.
The Telemarketer Analogy: Uses the common experience of dealing with telemarketers to illustrate the human aversion to feeling pressured into saying “Yes.”
The Power of “No” as Protection: Explores how saying “No” can empower negotiators by providing a sense of safety, security, and control.
Reframing “No” : Encourages readers to reinterpret “No” not as rejection, but as an opportunity to uncover underlying motivations and barriers.
The “No”-Oriented Script: Presents a counterintuitive fundraising script that strategically uses “No” to boost engagement and ultimately, donations.
The “Have You Given Up?” Email: Offers a powerful email technique that leverages the fear of loss and the desire for control to elicit responses from unresponsive counterparts.

Part II: Bending Reality and Finding the Black Swans

Chapter 5: Bend Their Reality – Create the Illusion of Control: Focuses on manipulating perception within a negotiation by anchoring expectations, using calibrated questions, and fostering an illusion of control for the other party.
The “That’s Right” Principle: Highlights the importance of eliciting “That’s Right” as a sign of genuine understanding and agreement from the counterpart.
**Chapter 6: Create the Illusion of Control: ** Delves deeper into the concept of control in negotiation, arguing that the illusion of control can be a powerful motivator.
The Importance of “How” Questions: Explains the effectiveness of open-ended questions starting with “How” to empower counterparts and gather valuable information.
Chapter 9: Spotting Liars – Is That Their Best Offer?: Provides insights into detecting deception in negotiation through body language, voice tone, and pronoun usage.
The 7-38-55 Percent Rule: Introduces Mehrabian’s research on communication, emphasizing the importance of nonverbal cues in conveying meaning and detecting deception.
Chapter 10: Find the Black Swan – Unearth the Surprising Truth: Explores the concept of “Black Swans” – unknown unknowns that can dramatically impact a negotiation – and provides strategies for uncovering them.
The Case of the Mysterious Price Drop: Illustrates how uncovering a Black Swan – the seller’s need for a quick close – led to a favorable outcome for the buyer.

Part III: Bargaining Hard and Navigating Difficult Counterparts

Chapter 11: Bargaining Hard – Defuse the Explosives: Provides guidance on navigating the challenging phase of hard bargaining when emotions run high.
Identifying Your Bargaining Style: Presents a typology of negotiating styles, helping readers understand their own tendencies and those of their counterparts.
**Chapter 12: Negotiate a Rent Cut: ** Outlines a step-by-step approach to negotiating a lower rent, illustrating key principles of anchoring, calibrated questions, and non-round numbers.
**Chapter 13: Unearthing the Black Swan: ** Offers a detailed example of how to uncover Black Swans in a real estate negotiation.

Appendix:

Prepare a Negotiation One Sheet: Provides a practical template for preparing for any negotiation, including sections on defining goals, summarizing the situation, anticipating and labeling emotions, preparing calibrated questions, and brainstorming non-cash offers.

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It – Briefing Doc

Main Themes:

This book details the author’s experience as the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator and distills the key techniques he used to secure the safe release of hostages. It moves beyond traditional negotiation tactics and dives deep into the psychology of communication, emphasizing emotional intelligence and tactical empathy as the cornerstones of successful negotiation.

Most Important Ideas/Facts:

1. “No” is Not Failure, It’s the Start:

Voss challenges the traditional view of “no” as a negative. He argues that “no” often signifies engagement, a desire for control, or the need for more information. (p. 75-95)
Inviting “no” early in the negotiation can create a sense of safety and control for the other party, making them more receptive to collaboration. (p. 78-79)
“No” is a valuable tool to unearth hidden obstacles, needs, and motivations. (p. 89)
Quote: “’No’ is not failure. Used strategically it’s an answer that opens the path forward. Getting to the point where you’re no longer horrified by the word “No” is a liberating moment that every negotiator needs to reach.” (p. 88)

2. Tactical Empathy: The Foundation of Influence:

Tactical empathy involves understanding the other party’s emotions and demonstrating that understanding to build trust and rapport. (p. 50-54)
It requires active listening, going beyond the words to decode the emotions driving their behavior. (p. 55-56)
Labeling their emotions explicitly (“It sounds like you’re frustrated”) validates their feelings and can diffuse tension. (p. 54-73)
Quote: “Labels can be phrased as statements or questions. The only difference is whether you end the sentence with a downward or upward inflection.” (p. 58)

3. “That’s Right” – The Sweetest Sound:

“That’s right” signifies true agreement and understanding, paving the way for collaboration and a sustainable agreement. (p. 98)
Calibrated questions (“How can we make this work?”) encourage the other party to find solutions and own the outcome. (p. 149-161)
Summarizing their perspective accurately and eliciting a “that’s right” confirms you are on the same page and builds trust. (p. 108-112)

4. Leverage Lies in the Unseen:

Black Swans are unknown pieces of information that can significantly shift the power dynamic in a negotiation. (p. 213-245)
Uncovering Black Swans often involves delving into the other party’s “religion” – their deeply held beliefs and values. (p. 225, 228-229)
By asking calibrated questions, listening intently for inconsistencies, and observing unguarded moments, negotiators can unearth these hidden leverage points. (p. 236-237)
Quote: “When someone’s tone of voice or body language does not align with the meaning of the words they say, use labels to discover the source of the incongruence.” (p. 176)

5. Preparation is Paramount, Flexibility is Key:

Voss advocates for thorough preparation using his Negotiation One Sheet, which outlines goals, summaries, potential labels, and calibrated questions. (p. 251-258)
However, he emphasizes the need to be adaptable and adjust your approach based on the other party’s emotions and responses.
The Ackerman model, a four-step process involving extreme anchors, can be effective in breaking down resistance and driving concessions. (p. 205-208)

Practical Applications:

The book is rich with real-life examples from Voss’s experiences in hostage negotiations and various business scenarios, demonstrating how these techniques can be applied in a variety of contexts, including:

Salary Negotiations: Using prospect theory and calibrated questions to secure a better compensation package and define success metrics. (p. 135-138)
Business Deals: Employing tactical empathy to build rapport and understanding the underlying needs driving the other party’s position.
Personal Conflicts: Utilizing labeling and mirroring to de-escalate tense situations and find mutually agreeable solutions.

Overall:

“Never Split the Difference” is a practical and insightful guide to negotiation that moves beyond traditional win-lose scenarios. By prioritizing emotional intelligence and utilizing the power of “no,” tactical empathy, and calibrated questions, readers can learn to navigate complex negotiations with confidence and achieve truly successful outcomes.

FAQ’s

What are Black Swans and how can they be used in negotiations?

Black Swans are pieces of information that you don’t know but can significantly impact a negotiation. They can be leverage multipliers, helping you gain an advantage by understanding your counterpart’s hidden interests, constraints, and motivations. To uncover Black Swans, active listening, asking calibrated questions (starting with “How” or “What”), and observing unguarded moments are essential. By understanding their “religion” – their beliefs and values – you can tailor your approach to resonate with them and unearth valuable information.

Why is saying “No” important in negotiations?

Contrary to popular belief, “No” is not the end of a negotiation, but often the beginning. Saying “No” creates a sense of safety, security, and control for the speaker. It allows for genuine engagement, opens up the discussion, and helps reveal underlying interests. Good negotiators welcome “No” as it allows them to understand and address the other party’s concerns. By mastering the art of saying “No” strategically and interpreting its various meanings, you can unlock possibilities and pave the way for a mutually beneficial agreement.

How can I use tactical empathy to improve my negotiation skills?

Tactical empathy is about understanding the feelings and mindset of your counterpart, even if you don’t agree with them. It involves active listening, acknowledging their emotions through labeling, and validating their perspective. By demonstrating genuine understanding and concern, you can build rapport, create a more collaborative atmosphere, and ultimately achieve a more favorable outcome.

What is the “That’s Right” principle and how can it lead to better agreements?

“That’s Right” are the most powerful words in a negotiation. When someone says this, it means they feel understood and validated, leading to a more collaborative mindset. Achieving “That’s Right” involves carefully summarizing their perspective in a way that resonates with their emotions and motivations. This creates a subtle epiphany for your counterpart, leading to a more open and trusting environment for negotiation.

How do I determine my counterpart’s negotiation style and adjust my approach accordingly?

People generally fall into three main negotiation styles: Accommodators, Analysts, and Assertives. Accommodators prioritize relationships, Analysts focus on information and details, and Assertives are driven by outcomes. By observing their communication patterns, body language, and willingness to share information, you can identify their style. Understanding their style allows you to tailor your approach for optimal results. For example, with an Analyst, providing detailed data and logical explanations would be more effective than emotional appeals.

How can I use calibrated questions to my advantage?

Calibrated questions are open-ended questions that start with “How” or “What,” prompting your counterpart to think critically and provide more detailed answers. They give the illusion of control, making them feel heard and encouraging them to reveal valuable information. Instead of asking, “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”, try, “Is now a bad time to talk?”. This phrasing elicits either a “No” followed by their attention or a suggested better time, both preferable to a disengaged “Yes.”

What is the importance of non-cash offers in negotiations?

Non-cash offers, even seemingly insignificant ones, can significantly impact a negotiation by appealing to human psychology. Offering something specific and non-monetary, especially when unexpected, can trigger reciprocity and make your counterpart more receptive to your proposal. This technique, along with using precise, non-round numbers, can create the perception of a well-considered, final offer, increasing the likelihood of a deal.

How can I effectively prepare for a negotiation?

Thorough preparation is key to successful negotiation. Develop a Negotiation One Sheet, a document summarizing your goals, potential Black Swans, and calibrated questions tailored to your counterpart. Outline your ideal outcome, but also determine your “walkaway point” – the least favorable terms you’re willing to accept. By clearly understanding your objectives and anticipating potential challenges, you can negotiate with confidence and increase your chances of achieving a favorable outcome.

Study Guide

Mastering Negotiation: A Deep Dive into “Never Split the Difference”

Quiz

Instructions: Answer the following questions in 2-3 sentences based on your understanding of “Never Split the Difference.”

Why is “getting to yes” not always the ultimate goal in a negotiation? What should negotiators prioritize instead?
How does the concept of “tactical empathy” differ from simply being empathetic? How can it be applied in a negotiation?
Explain the “7-38-55 Percent Rule” and its significance in understanding communication dynamics.
What is an “accusation audit” and how does it benefit the negotiator who employs it?
How does understanding the concept of “loss aversion” empower a negotiator?
Why is it advantageous for a negotiator to embrace “No” as opposed to fearing it?
What makes calibrated questions, particularly those starting with “How” or “What”, more effective than closed-ended questions in a negotiation?
What are “Black Swans” in the context of negotiation? How can identifying them impact the outcome of a negotiation?
Chris Voss advocates for using the late-night FM DJ voice. What are the characteristics of this voice and how does it impact a negotiation?
Explain the significance of the phrase “That’s right” in a negotiation. How is it different from a simple “Yes”?

Essay Questions

Analyze the effectiveness of labeling different types of emotions (e.g., fear, anger, disappointment) in a negotiation. Discuss specific examples from the book to support your points.
Drawing from the hostage negotiation scenarios described in the book, discuss the ethical considerations a negotiator must navigate. How can one balance achieving a successful outcome with maintaining ethical standards?
Critically examine the concept of “bending reality” in negotiation. Is it ethically justifiable? Discuss with specific examples from the book.
Compare and contrast two different bargaining styles discussed in “Never Split the Difference” (e.g., Accommodator vs. Assertive). When might one style be more advantageous than the other?
Chris Voss emphasizes the importance of uncovering a counterpart’s “religion” in a negotiation. Discuss what he means by this term and how it relates to the concept of Black Swans.

Glossary of Key Terms

Tactical Empathy: The deliberate act of understanding your counterpart’s emotions and thought processes, not just to empathize with them, but to gain a strategic advantage in the negotiation.
Labeling: A technique used to acknowledge and validate your counterpart’s emotions by explicitly stating your understanding of what they’re feeling.
Mirroring: A technique where you repeat the last three (or the most important three) words your counterpart has said, encouraging them to elaborate and revealing more information.
Calibrated Questions: Open-ended questions, often beginning with “How” or “What,” designed to gently guide the conversation and subtly influence your counterpart.
Accusation Audit: A pre-emptive strike where you list every negative thing your counterpart could say about you or your proposal, diffusing their power and addressing potential obstacles before they arise.
“That’s Right”: The desired response in a negotiation, indicating that your counterpart not only understands but also agrees with your statement, signaling a deeper level of commitment than a simple “Yes.”
Black Swans: Pieces of game-changing information that are often hidden or unexpected but can significantly alter the course of a negotiation.
Loss Aversion: The psychological principle that people are more motivated to avoid losses than they are to acquire gains.
7-38-55 Percent Rule: A communication principle stating that only 7% of a message is based on the words used, while 38% comes from tone of voice and 55% from body language.
Late-Night FM DJ Voice: A calm, deep, and soothing voice that conveys empathy and builds trust during a negotiation.

Answer Key

“Getting to yes” often leads to shallow agreements that lack true commitment. Negotiators should prioritize understanding their counterpart’s needs and motivations to create win-win solutions.
Tactical empathy goes beyond simply acknowledging emotions; it involves understanding the motivations and thought processes behind those emotions. This understanding helps negotiators tailor their approach and responses to effectively influence the other party.
The 7-38-55 Rule highlights that words constitute a small portion of communication, with tone of voice and body language carrying more weight. This underscores the importance of non-verbal cues in negotiations.
An accusation audit involves preemptively identifying and addressing potential criticisms before the counterpart voices them. This establishes transparency, builds trust, and mitigates potential conflict.
Loss aversion makes people more receptive to options presented as ways to mitigate potential losses. Understanding this allows negotiators to frame their offers in a way that resonates with the counterpart’s desire to avoid negative outcomes.
“No” signifies engagement and allows the real negotiation to begin. Embracing “No” helps uncover underlying needs and move towards mutually beneficial solutions, while fearing it can lead to concessions and weak agreements.
Calibrated questions, unlike closed-ended questions, encourage the counterpart to think critically and share valuable information, providing insights into their needs, motivations, and potential points of agreement.
“Black Swans” are unforeseen pieces of information that can drastically alter a negotiation’s trajectory. Identifying these “unknown unknowns” allows negotiators to adapt their strategies and potentially gain a significant advantage.
The late-night FM DJ voice, characterized by its slow, calm, and deep tone, conveys empathy and trustworthiness. This approach can disarm the counterpart, fostering a more collaborative and less adversarial negotiating environment.
“That’s right” indicates a deeper understanding and agreement than “Yes.” It signals that the counterpart has internalized your message, enhancing their commitment to the negotiation and paving the way for a successful outcome.

Timeline of Events

Unknown Time Period:

Chris Voss’ early FBI career: Voss begins his career with the FBI SWAT team in Pittsburgh. After two years, he transfers to New York and joins the Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF).
Voss meets Lieutenant Martin: While at the JTTF, Voss works with an NYPD lieutenant named Martin, who is known for his frequent use of “No.” This experience sparks Voss’ interest in the power of the word.
Voss considers becoming a hostage negotiator: Before beginning his formal training in negotiation, Voss inquires about joining the hostage negotiation team. He is initially rejected due to lack of experience.
Voss attends Harvard Law School: While pursuing his law degree, Voss takes Jim Camp’s negotiation course, where he reads “Start with NO” and begins to understand the strategic use of the word.
Voss develops his Negotiation One Sheet: Over time, Voss refines his negotiation skills and develops the Negotiation One Sheet to help prepare for negotiations.

Specific Events:

Bank robbery in Brooklyn: Voss and his colleague, Charlie Beaudoin, respond to a bank robbery in Brooklyn. Through careful use of mirroring, labeling, and calibrated questions, they successfully negotiate the release of a hostage named Bobby. This event reinforces Voss’ passion for negotiation.
Burnham-Sobero Hostage Crisis: Voss and his team are brought in to negotiate the release of American hostages, including Martin and Gracia Burnham and Guillermo Sobero, held by Abu Sayyaf militants in the Philippines. This high-profile case involves intense negotiations with Abu Sabaya, a key figure in Abu Sayyaf. The negotiations are emotionally charged and involve understanding Sabaya’s motivations and leveraging Black Swan opportunities. Sadly, Guillermo Sobero is killed, and Martin Burnham dies during a rescue attempt.
Watson Standoff in Washington DC: Voss and his team are called to negotiate with a mentally unstable man named Watson, who is holed up in a house with hostages. By identifying and understanding Watson’s Black Swan – his distorted perception of reality – they de-escalate the situation and secure the hostages’ release.
MBA student negotiates a real estate deal: One of Voss’ students successfully negotiates a lower price for a property by uncovering the seller’s hidden constraints – a Black Swan opportunity – and using calibrated questions and the Ackerman model.
Voss negotiates a car purchase: Voss uses his negotiation skills to secure a lower price on a Toyota 4Runner. He employs techniques like anchoring, nonround numbers, and calibrated questions to successfully navigate the bargaining process.
Mishary negotiates a rent reduction: An MBA student named Mishary uses the Ackerman model to negotiate a rent reduction after his landlord attempts to raise his rent. He anchors his offer low and uses calibrated questions to successfully counter his landlord’s arguments.

Jesus Bueno helps his brother Joaquin: Joaquin, along with his friend Bruno, faces a difficult business situation with their cannabis grow shop franchise in Spain. Jesus, using the multi-step “No” technique, guides his brother to navigate the challenges and reach a favorable outcome.

Key people mentioned in the book

Chris Voss:The author of the source material and the main character in many of the recounted negotiations.

Former FBI hostage negotiator with extensive experience in high-stakes situations.
Passionate about negotiation and believes it is a skill that can be learned and applied in all areas of life.

Charlie Beaudoin:Voss’ colleague at the FBI and partner during the bank robbery negotiation in Brooklyn.

Bobby:The hostage taken during the bank robbery in Brooklyn.

Lieutenant Martin:An NYPD officer known for his frequent use of “No,” which piqued Voss’ interest in the power of the word.

Jim Camp:Author of “Start with NO” and Voss’ professor at Harvard Law School. His book helped Voss understand the strategic use of “No” in negotiation.

Martin and Gracia Burnham:

American missionaries taken hostage by Abu Sayyaf militants in the Philippines.

Guillermo Sobero:An American citizen taken hostage alongside the Burnhams by Abu Sayyaf militants.

Abu Sabaya:A key figure in the Abu Sayyaf group and the primary negotiator during the Burnham-Sobero hostage crisis.

Benjie:A Filipino negotiator who worked with Voss during the Burnham-Sobero hostage crisis. Initially driven by anger, Benjie eventually becomes a skilled negotiator after Voss helps him acknowledge and manage his emotions.

Brandon:A football player coached by Voss who initially struggled with tackling. Voss helped Brandon overcome his mental barriers and improve his performance by using “That’s right” to address the root of his hesitation.

Keenon:One of Voss’ employees who he was mentoring. Voss uses the example of their interaction to illustrate different bargaining styles.

Mishary:A Georgetown MBA student who used the Ackerman model to successfully negotiate a rent reduction.

Jesus Bueno:A student of Voss who used the multi-step “No” technique to help his brother navigate a challenging business situation.

Joaquin and Bruno:Joaquin, along with his friend Bruno, are partners in a cannabis grow shop franchise in Spain. They encounter difficulties that require negotiation skills to resolve.

Glossary of Negotiation Terms from “Never Split the Difference

Accusation Audit: A strategy where a negotiator lists the worst things their counterpart could say about them before the counterpart has the chance to say them. This disarms the counterpart and encourages them to be more reasonable.

Active Listening: A crucial negotiation technique that involves fully concentrating on and understanding the counterpart’s perspective. It encompasses techniques like Mirroring, asking Calibrated Questions, Labeling, using effective pauses, and summarizing to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the counterpart’s position and emotions.

Analyst: One of three primary negotiation styles. Analysts are methodical, detail-oriented, and prioritize being correct. They prefer to take their time to reach a solution.

Anchoring: A psychological phenomenon where the first piece of information offered in a negotiation (like a price) sets the standard for the rest of the discussion. Skilled negotiators use anchoring to their advantage by framing the discussion within favorable limits.

Assertive: One of three primary negotiation styles. Assertives are direct, focused on getting things done quickly, and prioritize winning. They may not always prioritize long-term relationships.

BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): The best option a negotiator has if the current negotiation falls through. It’s crucial to have a strong BATNA to avoid feeling pressured into a bad deal. However, focusing too heavily on a BATNA can lead negotiators to set their goals too low.havioral Change Stairway Model (BCSM): A five-stage model developed by the FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit that guides negotiators from listening to influencing behavior. The stages are: active listening, empathy, rapport, influence, and behavioral change.

Behind the Table (Level II): Refers to individuals or factors influencing the negotiation from behind the scenes. Identifying these hidden players and their interests is crucial for successful negotiation, especially regarding agreement execution.

Bending Reality: A negotiation strategy that uses psychological techniques like framing and anchoring to subtly influence the counterpart’s perception of what is possible and desirable in the negotiation.

Black Swan: A rare and unpredictable event that has a significant impact. In negotiation, it refers to uncovering hidden information or unexpected factors that can dramatically change the course of the discussion and create breakthroughs. Black Swans are leverage multipliers.

Calibrated Questions: Open-ended questions designed to stimulate thinking and provide insightful answers from the counterpart. They begin with “How” or “What” and give the counterpart the illusion of control while subtly guiding them toward the desired outcome.

“CareFronting”: A technique used to respond to difficult counterparts (like frequent callers to a service line) with assertive, yet empathetic and caring, communication.

Chris Discount: A strategy where negotiators use their own name during the negotiation to humanize themselves and potentially gain a more favorable outcome.

Commitment “Yes”: A genuine agreement from the counterpart that signifies their willingness to move forward with the deal and work towards implementation.

Counterfeit “Yes”: A superficial agreement given to appease the negotiator or to avoid further discussion. It does not represent a genuine commitment to the deal.

Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. In negotiation, it involves recognizing and acknowledging the counterpart’s perspective and emotions, which builds trust and rapport, even in challenging situations.

“Forced Empathy”: A technique where calibrated questions force a difficult or aggressive counterpart to see the situation from a different perspective.

Framing: A negotiation technique that involves presenting information in a way that influences how the counterpart perceives it. By highlighting certain aspects of a proposal, negotiators can make it seem more appealing or less risky.

Late-Night FM DJ Voice: A calm and soothing vocal tone that encourages the counterpart to feel safe and open up. It involves speaking slowly, with a downward inflection, and mirroring the counterpart’s language.

Labeling: A powerful negotiation technique that involves verbally acknowledging the counterpart’s emotions. By giving a name to what they’re feeling, negotiators can validate the counterpart’s experience, build rapport, and diffuse negative emotions.

Mirroring: A technique where negotiators repeat the last three to five words the counterpart has spoken. This signals attention, encourages the counterpart to elaborate, and helps uncover their underlying needs and motivations.

“No”: A powerful word in negotiation, often signaling the true start of a conversation and opening up the possibility for a better deal. Understanding the different meanings and uses of “no” is crucial for negotiation success.

Non-Cash Offers: Creative concessions that provide value to both parties without involving money. These can be powerful tools for breaking deadlocks and reaching agreements.

“That’s Right”: The two most powerful words in a negotiation. These words signify that the counterpart feels genuinely heard and understood, creating a breakthrough moment that opens the door to agreement.

“You’re Right”: While seemingly agreeable, this phrase often deflects the conversation and fails to establish genuine understanding. It is far less effective than aiming for a “That’s Right” from the counterpart.

The sources also mention three types of leverage: positive, negative, and normative, but they do not explain the difference between the three. You may want to independently verify the different types of leverage.